When I opened my refrigerator last night, I found my chocolate box half empty. I would be lying if I told you I got the rudest shock ever last night, but I think it makes the top 10. My chocolate box is mostly stocked, in fact I fill it in with lozenges when my chocolate bank runs dry. Considering the fact I had just two days previously filled it with chocolates my neighbor got for me from a trip abroad, my heart sank. It sank even deeper when I didn’t notice the wrappers in the trash bag. It hit the floor when my mom explained how the chocolates had been given away to the two cousins who came over for dinner last night. The pests, they even toyed with my Fifa managerial career, and I let them because my mom kept reminding me they were my baby cousins.
I went over to my room to sulk, taking along a Mars bar. I was sad, not because the chocolates were given to the kids, but it was because it was the chocolates that were given to the kids. And some treats they were. It’s funny how I was sulking for things that probably never cared for me. The chocolates fulfilled their purpose, leaving behind a spurned lover.
But that’s desire, and that’s where it’s all so so different from longing, from affection, from love. Desire is passionate and mostly one sided, but the object doesn’t care. The object simply doesn’t care.
I realized how the chocolates were simply my objects of desire as well. Things I craved for, things I wanted to enjoy. But my desire went unfulfilled because of an unwanted intrusion. And that is what made me angry last night.
But I wondered, and I realized why desire is also a multidimensional phenomenon as well. Didn’t my object of desire realize how badly I wanted to taste the chocolates? Probably yes, just why they probably spurned me because they knew they were still leaving enough for me. They weren’t making the box half empty, they were leaving it half full for myself to enjoy, and letting the kids enjoy the same joy as well.
Maybe that’s the role of an object of desire. To keep all its subjects happy. Because it’s selfish and because it doesn’t want its charm to go.
I opened my packet of Mars and had a bite. Probably the kids had the Lindt caramel one. But it doesn’t matter anymore.
I have more in my refrigerator’s middle rack.